SHOOT YOUR
TROUBLES AWAY!
I called this page troubleshooting even though all I'm really gonna do here is tell you about the issues that are basically unfixable and reiterate for you the programs I already told you you had to download like fifty times, but you never listen, do you? Just like your mother. Bitch wouldn't even let me get through a sentence. But I got her to shut up eventually, didn't I? You bet I did. And if you can't see your way to behaving better, well, we'll have to come up with a solution for you too. And my solutions tend to be permanent.
If nothing on this page makes you feel special, you can e-mail me. Please note that I will not have any idea as to what you should do with the video, your life, or anything outside of "quit e-mailing me."
AVI, DIVX, WMV, QUICKTIME, IPOD, PSP TROUBLESHOOTING
One thing you may notice with the video files is some slight ghosting of images. That's just the way it is. I don't think it's so bad that it's distracting or anything and I made the goddamned thing, so you should seriously chill out. Also, if you download one of the shittier versions of the trailer/movie, it's gonna be harder to read the text. Don't look at me like it's my fault. You're the skinflint. That's right, I said skinflint.
If you're having trouble playing any of the video files, whether you've downloaded a trailer or the full movie, the only thing I can do is tell you to make sure you've got the newest versions of whatever is needed to play the video.
It's pretty straightforward, pudgy.
The raw file is HUGE because it's been in no way encoded by anything. You shouldn't, in theory, need anything aside from Windows Media Player (or something akin to it) to play it.
The Divx-encoded avi needs, uh-derr, Divx before you can make it play. Download it already and get out my face.
The mov file is a Quicktime file so you need Quicktime to play it. If you are a superdetective, you may have figured this out on your own already.
Windows Media Audio and Windows Media Video are apparently the codecs behind the wmv file. Um...update your Windows Media Player? Or maybe just download a buttload of codecs? You figure it out. This is one hell of a helpful troubleshooting page, no?
YouTube requires flash, son.
I don't know what's wrong with your IPod. Maybe it's not even a video IPod. Ever think of that, smart guy?
I don't know what's wrong with your PSP, except that you were dumb enough to buy it. HAHAHAHA!! SUCK MY TROUBLESHOOT!!!
3DMM TROUBLESHOOTING
If you want to watch the 3DMM version of the movie, you're going to need a copy of Microsoft 3D Movie Maker. It's discontinued, and I've found it on the internet before. The download was a couple hundred MB if I'm not mistaken, so go look into that if you'd like.
Now, although we do offer the Microsoft 3D Movie Maker versions of the trailer and movie here, we are quite against that being your download of choice. Yes, you can watch the movie completely clean-looking in the program in which it was created and, yes, the filesize is a fair bit smaller than any of the video versions, but, other things are going to look like CRAP. PAR EXAMPLAR:
ONE - We used a great deal of different fonts in this film. 3D Movie Maker allows you to use whatever fonts you have on your computer within the program and a bunch of the ones we used are really WHACKED-OUT. So! If you happen to have EVERY SINGLE ONE of the fonts we used, everything will be fine. However, that being an exceptionally unlikely case, any time a font you do not have is used, 3DMM will simply revert to the default font (which I think is Times New Roman) and default size (which is smaller than the significance of the issue of gay marriage...well, no it's bigger than that). If you can't read it, it might not be that important, but when you're sitting there squinting and trying to make out what a skeleton and a robot in a restaurant are talking about, I hope it makes you think twice about the type of person you've become.
TWO - The film will run either faster or slower depending on if your computer is faster or slower than the computers we used to make the film on because, simply, that is the way of 3D Movie Maker. We used several different computers of varying speeds over the course of the film's development just to make it more annoying.
Anyhow, none of this should matter all that much except at parts where music is supposed to sync up a certain way because it won't. This should be especially noticeable with trailers because those were made around the music, so we really suggest you get the video files of those, because it's not like they're that big anyway. Anyway, not much I can do about it so, whatever. Just know that some of the crappy music-action mismatching isn't our fault. IT'S YOURS.
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